Wanting as resistance. A Consent workshop for Queers.
Ever noticed the audacity of some children to ask for exactly what they want?
How old were you when you learned not to do that? And why?
For some of us, the answer is something like “folks like me don’t get that thing I want.” For some of us, it even feels scary, dangerous, risky to want a thing. It might look like:
- not quite knowing what you want
- not knowing how to ask for what you want or even need
- finding it difficult to make clear agreements or set boundaries
- avoiding saying no because you’re afraid of the consequences
- having difficulty asking for help,
and for some of us, these feelings are rooted in messages we received about our Blackness, Queerness, Indigeneity, Disability, Transness, Girlhood, Neurospiciness, Fatness, or other identity.
This workshop is a place to have a more nuanced practice around consent that doesn’t stop at acknowledgement, but roots in the fact that –for some of us– our access to our fullness, desire, and freedom has been intentionally limited, through messages, models, and systems.
We’re going to share tools and create space for both hard conversations and some Queer joy to help reconnect with your sense of possibility.
In this workshop, we will combine somatic practices, nervous system attunement, and some practices from the Wheel of Consent to get us all one step closer to pursuing our impossible desires.
Through tools, discussion, and play, this workshop invites us all to move one moment closer to this space: the one that supports us to show up with integrity, create and uphold clear agreements, recognize our boundaries and limits, and honor those of others. This space will look different for each of us based on things like race, ethnicity, gender, neurotype and many others. That said, access to this space is vital to everything from healthy romantic relationship to organizing action to child rearing (all acts of love).
Who is this workshop for?
- Queer folks and those with Queer Proximity* who…
- want to create authentic and clear relationships
- wish to expand their range of desires
- struggle to express needs or set and maintain boundaries
- often overstep their own limits or withdraw in relationships
- want deeper access to their body and nervous system
- repeatedly find themselves in relationships that don’t actually serve them
What you can expect:
- Introduction to somatic experiencing
- Practicing techniques to remain capable of action when the nervous system is activated
- Practice expressing desires and asking for what you want
- Exercises on boundaries, consent, and emotional self-responsibility
- Partner or small-group work
- Laughter and fun
What you might take with you:
- Better access to your “yes,” “no,” and “maybe”
- Tools for self-regulation and co-regulation
- A sense of connection with others longing for similar things
- More clarity about what is needed to create safe containers for connection(s)
More on who it’s for:
This workshop is for folks with marginalized identities. Global Majority/BIPOC, 2SLGBTQIA+, Disabled, Neurodivergent, Fat, etc.
In addition, as the two facilitators are Queer (2SLGBTQUIA+), we are creating a space specifically for Queer folks. We also welcome those with Queer Proximity* who hold other marginalized identities.
*Proximity means deep lived experience witnessing, understanding, and investing in an issue. For example, you:
- are the parent/caregiver of a Queer child/human, or
- were raised by Queer parents, or
- grew up with a Queer sibling, or
- have a life partnership with a Queer person, and
This is not a space to increase awareness of systems of oppression. It is a space of respite for those of us who are targeted by them and feel the impact. If this doesn’t sound like you, please self-assess honestly and join us in one of our other workshops.
Workshop Details:
ONLINE:
Friday, Jun 12 – Sunday, Jun 14
10:30am – 2:00pm CDT (Chicago)
5:30pm – 9:00pm CET (Berlin)
There will be breaks in between and you are welcome to take even more if needed. No need to be all the time with camera on either.
Your facilitators:
Tunde J.O. – Coach, Facilitator, Educator
Tunde is a facilitator, educator, and coach with a focus on identity, consent, boundaries, and unlearning oppressive socialization.
As a coach, maer helps clients recognize their individual relationships to power and learn tools to address them somatically. Maer believes that supporting individuals in discovering more choice moves us towards collective liberation.
Maer can also be found advising and working alongside organizations, institutions, and collectives to recognize and remove barriers to healthier culture, and align their work with envisioning and creating more equitable and restorative projects, initiatives, spaces, and communities.
Both practices are informed by mer study and application of the Wheel of Consent.
Tunde, also an educator and visual/performing artist, holds a BFA from Washington University in St. Louis, is a certified Diversity Facilitrainer through NCCJ St. Louis, a certified Big Leap Coach through the Hendricks Institute, a certified Urban Tantra Practitioner, a STARLING Healer, and a Wheel of Consent facilitator in training. In mer free time, Tunde can be found exploring the world through taste/flavor and taking copious pictures of delicious food, captivating skylines, and pets (mers and yours if you’ll let mer).
Puma – Bodyworker, Trainer, Facilitator, Mentor
Puma creates spaces where people can gently and sustainably reconnect with their bodies and begin to feel truly at home within themselves again. They also support people somatically in shaping relationships that are nourishing and aligned.
What sets puma´s work apart is not only the range of methods they draw from, but the way they weave them together into a coherent, deeply embodied approach.
He works in a privilege-aware, trauma-informed way, with a strong focus on safety, choice, and empowerment. and systemic layers with care and clarity.
For many years, puma has been teaching the Wheel of Consent®. He is known for making this practice accessible, nuanced, and alive—supporting people in learning how to make clear agreements with themselves and others.
Puma is part of the faculty of the School of Consent. One of his core goals, is to evolve the Wheel of Consent® together with others, always exploring how it can support individual, relational, and collective transformation and liberation.
„My work is shaped through the lenses of my queerness, my trans/non-binary identity, and my working-class background. These perspectives inform not only what I teach, but how I teach: with depth, humility, and a strong commitment to inclusion and justice.“
Please register here.